Different
by RaeynnBeau
Summary: Well, since people have been harassing me, this is a sequel to Alone Time. This time, it's Kaoru's point of view, and he doesn't understand why Hikaru's acting so ... different. May possibly get more chapters, if there seems to be an interest ...


**Different …**

Ever since that morning … I knew something was wrong. I knew it as soon as I had opened my eyes; and at first, I thought Hikaru was just tired, or maybe was beginning to catch a cold – it was that time of year, after all, and it wouldn't be completely unlikely for that to happen. But when I'd asked, he had assured me that he was fine. That he was perfectly fine; and then, he had gotten up, and gotten into the shower.

Alone.

As in, without me.

… … He had even closed the door and _locked _it. All I had been able to do was stare at the door, rather dumbly, I might add, as he turned on the water. The rest of the morning was some sort of daze to me; I don't really remember it well; we didn't talk much to each other, which wasn't really out of the ordinary, because we normally don't need to talk to each other – I would know what he was thinking, and he would know what was on my mind, like we always did. Like everything was completely normal. Like nothing had changed.

But something had changed.

I was used to knowing everything about Hikaru – we were twins; it came with the job description, or something. I almost always knew what he was thinking or doing, and likewise it was reciprocated. There were very few times I _didn't_ know what was going on with my three minute older brother, and those were times that more often than not I didn't enjoy. I didn't like not knowing things, especially when it came to Hikaru; he was, after all, half of my world. Because our world was comprised of two things – him and me. And everything else was foreign, unwanted, and unimportant, as far as we were concerned.

Well, imagine how I felt when half of my world suddenly became new, unfamiliar territory to me. I wouldn't go so far as to say I was terrified, but I will go so far as to say I was shocked by it, and I wasn't happy. And, it wasn't even that Hikaru was having an 'off' day; I could tell when he had those – and I was the one who always made him feel better so that he was back 'on'. But … Even _I_ didn't know what was wrong, and … The thought of asking, admittedly, it did cross my mind, but … If I admitted that I didn't know … That would be like admitting that I was blind or deaf. I couldn't just _not know_ why my twin was acting strangely. And, it wasn't even a strangely that most people would notice; or at least, I didn't think it was – I hoped against hope that it was just my imagination; that he had just randomly decided that he wanted to take a shower alone – I mean, that was nothing, right? Nothing at all; just one little thing that made him seem like he was acting differently, when really, I'm sure he wasn't. I'm sure it was just a complete fluke – and that the rest of the day will go how every other day went along.

It's too bad I was wrong about that.

At first, it was just little things; little things that I barely noticed – when we arrived in class, he'd sit next to me, in our assigned seats, but I knew. I knew as soon as he did so that he'd rather be sitting somewhere else. I could feel it coming off of him as much as I could feel a stitch in my side after sprinting a mile, and the pain was ten times as real. He didn't say anything to me during any class we had, and we had every class together. He didn't speak to me at lunch when I sat down next to him, and he didn't speak to me in the halls between classes. I could have brushed one or two instances of this off just as my being paranoid; I had been up a little late the night before, and I was admittedly a little bit tired, but … _Every _time we were together … … Neither of us said anything. Why not talk to him, you ask? Well, that was a simple answer – he didn't _want_ to be talked to. I could tell you that blindfolded with both hands behind my back and deafened. For some reason, he didn't want to talk to me; it was almost like … … Almost like he was … _on edge_, especially when I walked closely to him in the halls – which I tended to do, because that was what I always did. He almost seemed … I don't know, to breathe easier when I was a little less than arm's length away from him or so.

And that, I didn't like. At all.

But, I couldn't ask … I just couldn't. That would be admitting that I don't _know_ what's wrong – that I don't know what is bothering Hikaru – it could have been something as simple as the weather (though I knew it wasn't because Hikaru liked sunny days) or that he was just focused on something one of the girls said to him at the club yesterday (though I knew that wasn't it either because we had surprisingly few customers yesterday, and hadn't really done much of anything while in the club) but the fact of the matter is … _I don't know._ I don't know what's on his mind. I don't know what he's thinking about, or what's going on in his head … And it might not have appeared to be particularly important, but … … It was important to _me_.

The only thing I could think of … The only thing that came to mind was that … … Maybe … _I_ had done something … ? Maybe I had made him … angry, somehow? But, that didn't make sense either; he wasn't really … Angry. That much I could tell pretty easily – it's not hard to tell when Hikaru is mad. It's not hard, at least for me, to tell when he's upset, or when he's sad, or when he's surprised … It's not hard to tell when Hikaru's feeling – he wears his emotions on his sleeve. It helps him fit the bill of being a little bit more immature than I am, I think; but it's fun being that way when the girls at the club guess wrong when we play the "Dotchi ga Hikaru-kun dessho ka Geimu"(1).

Speaking of the club, it only seemed to get worse when we went there after classes, as we did any other time. Because, not only was Hikaru upset, and not only up until now was I the only one who had realized it, but now … Now …

"Hikaru-kun, daijoubu ka?" (2) was the first thing _she_ asked when we stepped into the music room with the rest of the club members. I _like_ Haruhi; don't get me wrong – I'd be the first one to tell you that, and I'd be the first one to tell you that Hikaru likes her too. Probably twice as much as I do. I liked that she could tell us apart; she was interesting like that – because we'd never met anyone before that could do it, and as easily as she could. (Tamaki could, but he claimed that it was just a random guess; Haruhi was the first person that could do it and give us a reason.) And maybe … Maybe I wasn't annoyed that she had asked the question … Maybe it was something else … Something that kind of took a hit, somewhere inside me, because she had asked the one question that I had wanted to ask Hikaru all day … And it was the one question that I couldn't ask him. Or maybe it was just that I was really tired, because I hadn't gotten a full night's sleep, or maybe it was something else entirely, but for whatever reason, it put me in less of a good mood than I had been, which wasn't saying much, because I was already having hard time smiling now that my twin brother was acting strangely …

I'm sure Haruhi expected, as I did, that Hikaru would just brush her off and tell her that he was fine; which he did, without fail. At least I can still predict _some_ things that Hikaru will do … That was a small comfort in a sea of hurt, at least.

"Hai! Dotchi ga Hikaru-kun dessho ka geimu!" we said in unison; the four girls sitting on the couch before us didn't notice the fact that both smiles from 'the twins' were forced, though one more than the other; true, I was certainly not in the best of moods, but Hikaru was … at best, distracted. And I still didn't know why. I barely listened as they made their guesses, all four of them; it was a busy day for the Host Club this afternoon – everyone except Kyouya and Haruhi, had at least three clients. As per usual, all of the girls guessed them same; and, as per usual, all of them guessed wrong – of course, that was to be expected, as that was almost always how it went. The other girls normally followed whatever the first girl guessed, whoever it was; and the first girl tended to guess wrong.

And it seemed today Hikaru wasn't in the mood to act like they were correct.

"Buuun. Kono tsugi wa gambatte, ne, hime-tachi …" (3) I was almost surprised when he said this; normally, we went along with whatever they said, because it made them happy. Most of the time. I guess he just wasn't up for playing pretend – of course that meant that we had to console them in _other ways_; which was fine by me. This act never got old. Without really thinking about it, I bit my lip slightly, and gently placed my curled fingers against my cheek, before turning away from Hikaru, draping one arm across my waist – they always wanted the sensitive and frail younger brother, so the act of curling up so that I looked a little smaller was again not uncommon for me. Finally I said softly,

"Hikaru … hidoi na, Hikaru … kono hime-tachi … Gambarimashita … Hikaru wa … Hikaru wa … "(4) It wasn't hard to summon up fake tears; I did it just about every day, gods knew, and I knew when to stop, so that they just lightly glistened in the corners of my eyes as the girls on the couch sputtered about how it was fine and they were sure Hikaru didn't mean it. And, as expected, I felt Hikaru's hand on my shoulder; well, at least there was one more thing that was still predictable about my twin – the act we put on for the Host Club's clients was still predict--

And then, suddenly, all I heard was a quiet murmur before rapid footsteps behind me – and I knew that he was running away. He was running away from _me_.

I'm sure I heard Kyouya call after us from one side of the room as Hikaru bolted out the door, and I went after him; what had happened? Why was he running? What had _I_ done? Suddenly, at least, it was immensely clear to me that it was _my fault_, whatever the reason was that Hikaru was acting strangely today. My fault that there was something wrong. When Hikaru left, he had murmured a name. A single, familiar name, that had completely frozen me, so I just stared in shock for as long as I did before I bolted after him. One name that had just completely and utterly changed what I thought …

"_Kaoru_."

Japanese Translations:

1 – "Dotchi ga Hikaru-kun dessho ka geimu" "The which one do you suppose is Hikaru Game"

2 – "Hikaru-kun, daijoubu ka?" "Hikaru, are you alright?"

3 – "Buuun … Kono tsugi wa ganbatte ne, hime-tachi?" ":the sound of a buzzer: Better luck next time, right, princesses?"

4 – "Hikaru … hidoi na, Hikaru … Kono hime-tachi … Gambarimashita … Hikaru wa … Hikaru wa …" "Hikaru … That's really mean, Hikaru … The princesses … They did their best … You're … you're …"


End file.
